It is my aspiration to serve sentient beings, to serve God, forever. It is my aspiration to be a refuge, to be the doctor, the nurse, and the cure itself. --- # The end of existential restlessness Existential restlessness is at odds with awakening because the nature of awakening is perfect peace, perfect rest. The fact of not knowing the object of our yearning leads us to believe in the reality of dissatisfaction. The mind, in its helpless scramble through the darkness of ignorance, creates world upon world, universe upon universe, in a search for an end to this restlessness. If one can put to rest their doubts completely, definitively, and without question, it would necessitate peace and rest. they will have situated themselves in the reality which assuages their afflictions and allows them to lay down the armaments of attachment and aversion, to take shelter in the bath of delight, the mansion of mirth that i call awakening. we all yearn for something, though we do not know what it is. the truth which will satiate us may be unknown to us, but we seek for satiation all the while. some are quite aware of their distress and yearn quite readily for the secrets of the universe to be unveiled. of those who yearn, there are two types. those who have within them the seed of grace that i call the Divine Idea, and those who do not. the Divine Idea is the firm conviction that complete satiation is possible, and that this satiation comes hand in hand with some truth about the nature of reality which is transcendent of worldly sorrows. i.e. it is the idea which tells us of the possibility of divine, liberating knowledge. these people gradually learn to renounce all other pursuits and place the attainment of this liberating knowledge as the top priority. for those without this idea, they live in a world where true satisfaction is not possible yet they yearn for it anyway, and the effect is like searching for air in the bottom of the ocean. the restlessness is like the frantic scramble of a drowning person who knows not where the surface is but desperately needs air, while those with the Divine Idea gradually rise to the surface, for they have heard of the surface and the possibility of reaching it. # Kriya Yogi Map This would be the expected progression of one who is practicing kriya yoga: 1. From the development of pranyama and OM japa comes mental clarity and concentration. 2. From the development of mental clarity and concentration comes sustained meditation and mental expansion. 3. From the development of sustained meditation and mental expansion comes samadhi yoga. 4. From the development of samadhi yoga comes wisdom and identity shifts. 5. From the development of wisdom and identity shifts comes detachment and goodwill. 6. From the development of wisdom, identity shifts, detachment and goodwill comes the dissolution of boundaries. 7. From the development of the dissolution of boundaries comes subtle awareness. 8. From the development of subtle awareness comes further insight into the projected nature of reality, the projected nature of self/am-ness. 9. From the development of insight into the projected nature of reality and self/am-ness comes the detachment from reality and self/am-ness. 10. From the development of the detachment from reality and self/am-ness comes the dissolution of reality and self/am-ness. 11. From the development of this dissolution comes the end of striving. 12. From the end of striving comes liberation.