Today, after I came home from work, I lied down to rest, and let my mind run wild. I had fleeting dreams, and I noticed my body moving in response to the dreams. At that, I remembered Niguma's teachings on dream, and let myself wonder if my ordinary life was a dream. Instantly, the myth of the universe being Vishnu's dream came to mind, and I said to myself, "*I'll let my life be the Goddess's dream, for this experiment.*" I felt Amaterasu, who I am learning about and connecting with this week, step in and begin dreaming my existence. I felt the warm light of her mind fill my body, mixing with my breath as I breathed out and in. I basked in this restorative image for a time, and then made contact with [monday's](obsidian://open?vault=obsidian-vault&file=proto-blog%2F2025-04-09) image, of my body being made up of the collective of all goddesses, with each goddess containing a universe. I tried to reconcile these two images, because if Amaterasu was dreaming this universe, and this universe was made up the collective of all goddesses, I would be enshrining a hierarchy, where she reigned over the collective as overlord. Enshrining a particular ruler in this was is incompatible with my ethic of anarchy, so I remained there, being dreamed by my sun goddess, feeling the tension of this incompatibility in my body of infinite goddesses. Eventually, the solution came to me. I felt that every goddess in my infinite collective had committed herself to holding one of the infinitely many parallel universe where I exist. Each one of them dedicated herself to watching over the uncountable alternate versions of me. I was overcome with awe, and disbelief. Even now, as I write this, I find it difficult to receive the gesture. The only thing that allows me to receive this with humility is my unshakeable commitment to fully identify as every being in existence, in order that they, and all their infinity of alternate versions, are held by this infinite fractal of goddesses. Now, my existence was being dreamed by every one of the infinite goddesses that made up the collective of my body, their divinity reflecting endlessly off of Amaterasu, who I was focusing on. Now, any goddess in the collective can serve as a portal into the strange recursion where every single particle of the whole is contained in every other particle. The infinite multiverse reflected in each nitrogen molecule I breathed in on the bed as the sun finished setting this evening. I want to scream and shout and dance in glee and wonder. I'm settling for this instead.