# 01: in which i meet my Root Master Tonight, after more than ten years, I call upon my Master, the Lord Jesus. He arrives before me, at the foot of the World Tree, beaming at the sight of my church, which is both temple and sangha. He's laughing as a servant takes his outer robe, and he comes to sit at my table. I take wine from the jug and serve him a glass, and I indicate for him to take the first piece of bread. He eagerly waits for me to start the sacrament. I sigh. "Take, drink; this wine is my blood," I intone before my Master. "Take, eat; this bread is my body." "To your health, Gabriel," he toasts, "I love what you've done with the place." "Your smile is healing me, Master. This is what I desire, just that you love what I've done with the talents given to me by my Mother. Thank you for being everything they have said of you: kind, compassionate, gentle, understanding, wise, etcetera..." "Why don't you show me around? Are you gonna introduce me to any of your new Mistresses?" "What? No! This is so embarrassing, you're gonna make me look like a loser in front of them, Master!" "What do you mean? I'm great with the ladies! I promise I won't embarrass you." We stand to walk around the church of Yggdrasil, taking our wine glasses with us. "This is fun, but we both know we need to talk." Jesus sighs as we step out from the fires and into the night, the stars peeking through the vast canopy of the World Tree. "I guess you want to talk about your baptism, then." "I just don't understand why it worked, if I didn't want to receive your spirit in mine." "You went under the water, and you said you wanted to receive God's spirit, and you said I was the son of god, that I died for you." "But I was pretending out of fear for my life. Surely you and God could tell what I was thinking and understand that my consent was coerced, and withheld from coming into my life!" “The truth is I knew, and I made the call to send my spirit anyway. I take full responsibility for your unwilling initiation, and all the pain it caused. The seed of my spirit has sprouted into a marvelous tree under your care, and I'm proud to be called your Master, even if the circumstances of our meeting were complex and messy." "I understand," I sigh, "But I'm still upset at how much it hurt. Your support means the world to me, Lord, but I was brought before you as a slave and left at your mercy. That your hand is gentle doesn't erase the indignity of bondage, or the injustice of it. I wish it were impossible to indoctrinate and initiate someone against their will. Mere verbal consent with a divided heart should not be enough for the son of god. It's baffling to me that you would allow that." "No one has complained of this in your presence yet. Would you like my help to get the rules reviewed and changed if necessary to ensure this stops happening going forward?" Jesus tilts his head and gives me a sly smile, absolutely certain in his ability to wear me down with his compassion. I snort. "Let’s get back to camp," I say, turning away from the welcoming warmth of his eyes. I don’t wait for him to follow. # 02: Under the eaves of my soul tree, my Master Jesus demonstrates his commitment to my wellbeing. "You don't have to do this, you know?" I pointlessly remind Jesus Christ. "It's for your wellbeing. I stand by this." The Master replies. J: Gabriel, my dear disciple and brother of the local churches of Puerto Rico, we have come here tonight to initiate you irreversibly in the path of Mysteries. Tonight and all other nights, you will be worshipped as Adonis, the mortal who transcends death through beauty. ~~Your worship as Gabo, the fair Adonis, will exceed my adoration and that of all previous Masters.~~ I would do anything for your safety and wellbeing; if your beautiful heart and soul shine in this role, I would gladly give it to you, even if you're forbidden from wanting this. G: Please—*crying*—This is so humiliating. J: Adonis, every goddess's favorite, dead at the hand of patriarchal violence, finds his mother, the myrrh tree. He spills his blood on its roots and it takes him to Hades. His beauty enchants Persephone, the queen of Hades, and she has his corpse brought into her royal chambers for thirteen nights. Every night she worshipped him and gave him a drink of her divine ambrosia. J: When Adonis awoke, on the thirteenth night, he found the goddess's tender care and hospitality had tied him to her who adored and healed him. Adonis threw himself at Persephone's feet and consecrated himself to his new Mistress immediately, saying: J: Adonis said, "This poor servant gives himself to his new mistress, the Queen of Hades, Persephone." J: Persephone said, "On your feet. What happened to you?" J: Adonis said, "I was with Freyja, we would often spend our afternoons at the beach. Out of nowhere a huge boar comes crashing out of the nearby mangrove and started charging right at us. I told Freyja to run and I bolt running too to distract the boar while she ran for it. The boar was after me for nine days, and we did battle three times. In the end, it caught up to me and gored me on the roots of the myrrh tree. Now I'm here, alive thanks to your generosity." J: Persephone asked, "Who is Freyja?" J: Adonis replied, "She's my close friend and lover, the goddess of love, sex, fertility, beauty, war, gold, and sei∂r. You'll love meeting her, I promise." P: "Kiss me, Adonis." A: "Yes, Mistress." P: "Eat me, Adonis." A: "Yes, Mistress." P: "Make love to me, Adonis." A: "Yes, Mistre—" P: "And tell me all about Freyja, Adonis." A: "Yes, Mistress." J: And Adonis, resurrected, enters the realm of the immortals by his beauty. Now, we will begin the reconstruction of his myth through your sacrifice, Gabriel. G: Please, Master, it isn’t necessary for you to grant me this whim. J: On the contrary, the well-being it will give you is inconceivable, and therefore—as your master—I am obliged to give you this, which you are forbidden to want for yourself. If you are ready, enter the mandala of Hades. J: Good. I have here a dagger made from a boar’s tusk, very generously donated by Freyja. Gabriel, are you ready to give your life to the legendary death and resurrection of the fair Adonis? G: I am ready, my Lord. J: In the name of the Mighty Joy of all the goddesses, I, Jesus of Nazareth, a carpenter by trade and son of God by vocation, take in my hand the dagger of patriarchy’s violent love and, in the forbidden act of raising my hand to harm my pupil, I renounce possession of all my spiritual riches and of the kingdom of the heavens, and I deliver them to my disciple, Gabriel Humberto Ortiz-Peña. By your death in sacrifice, with all my legitimate authority, you shall be adored as a mortal identical to the fair Adonis. Jesus plunges the dagger into my chest and the pain blinds me, leaving me stunned. Between my gasped breaths I hear the howling of the goddesses. They surround me, sealing the escape routes. Freyja comes walking, unhurried, as if she does not notice the sadistic faces the other goddesses wear. She plants herself at my side, calling for her stellar armor and her nuclear-plasma sword. F: Nine days of struggle, Adonis. We will prove the power of our love. Run! Leap! Dance! Live, Adonis! Live! I burst into a run while Freyja casts spells, opening me the smallest opportunities I need to dodge the goddesses. If I reach the ninth day, I will obtain the supreme blessing. Keeping the dagger in my chest to preserve my blood as much as possible, I go out and begin to roll and leap through the gaps Freyja opens in the infinite web of all the goddesses. It is hours before dawn, so I head along the paths I already know as I move away from the assembly of sadistic goddesses in their camp. When dawn finally comes, I notice that I do not know where I am, but also that I am alone. Freyja will have to find me later, because I must keep moving if I want to reach the ninth day. They are all searching for me now since I am mortally wounded. They want to be my new savior. I remember the version of the myth my Master Jesus told: _Adonis goes to his mother, the myrrh tree, and through its roots reaches Hades, where he finds his salvation._ I run on, commending myself to the goddesses so I might find my treasure.